


Stay Strong

by fandoms_consume_my_life



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, Suicide, also i suck at titles, and tagging but it's my first time so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 16:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandoms_consume_my_life/pseuds/fandoms_consume_my_life
Summary: What would've happened if Connor was there when Evan "fell" out of the tree?Nothing good, really.





	Stay Strong

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first oneshot ever written by me, so it's bad and sad.
> 
> I post things on my wattpad (@Doglove1216) before I do here, so you can go check that out
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! :>

"FUCK YOU!" Connor screamed, slamming the door.

He had gotten into another argument with Larry, and he needed to leave his house before he started throwing plates. Zoe had already ran out of the room in fear and Cynthia was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, being too afraid to step in.

He sighed and look around. It was still light outside, but he knew that it was going to get dark soon. But he needed to get out, so he hopped into his car and drove down to the orchard. He hopped the fence and walked to his Smoking Tree, which was on a hill that overlooked the entire orchard. On impulse, he reached into his pocket to pull out a joint, but he hadn't grabbed any on his way out. He stood for a moment, contemplating going back for one, but decided against it. He really didn't want to talk to anyone and if he went home, Larry was sure to yell at him.

He sighed and sat down against the tree, taking in the peaceful view. The sun had just started to set and the sky was lit up with dull orange colors.

Connor thought back to the argument with Larry. He couldn't really remember what it was about, something about Connor being a dissapointment. The usual.

But this was a different day. Usually, he would get high and all his thoughts would get muddled. Today, he wasn't high and he was able to reflect upon things that came out of Larry's mouth. The last time he wasn't high after an argument, well, his wrists had suffered a lot because of him. He remembered the feeling of blades cutting through his skin and considered it until a sound snapped him out of his thoughts.

He peered around the tree to see what had made the noise. He saw something that looked like a human body and he jumped up.

"Holy shit." he whispered to himself.

He ran to the object and saw that it was indeed a person. The person whimpered and turned over so that Connor was able to see them. He was shocked when he recognized him as a boy at his school, who he had shoved in the hallway the day before. He tried to remember his name, but he couldn't.

He looked up to see where the boy had come from. There were no branches that had been snapped, so had he fallen?

Another whimper from the boy caused Connor to remember what was happening

He pulled out and called 911. He bent down to check the shape that the boy was in.

"Hello?" came a voice on the other end.

The boy's arm looked broken, but Connor wasn't a doctor. "F-Fuck. Hi. Um. My-" Friend? He didn't even know the kid's name. "S-Someone fell out of a tree? He seems to be in critical condition. Send an ambulance."

"What is the location?" the voice asked.

"The Autumn Smile Apple Orchard." Connor said, trying to keep calm. "Please hurry." he added before hanging up.

A few minutes later, he heard sirens and people running to the hill.

One lady ran up to Connor as the boy was put into an ambulance and taken to the hospital.

"Do you know his name?" she asked.

"No. I just know he goes to my school."

"Do you know why he is here?" she asked. Connor shook his head and found himself asking the same question. Why HAD the kid come to an abandoned orchard? The reason why Connor went was to get high, but the kid didn't seem like a stoner.

She asked him some more questions, which he answered, and then he was free to go.

He got into his car and debated going home. What was the point? He also felt a sense of dread and curiosity. Who was that kid, why was he at the abandoned orchard, and what had happened to him? The most important question was: Was that kid going to be okay?

He kept thinking through the questions u til he reached the hospital. The lady sitting behind the desk looked up when he ran in.

"Who are you here for?" she asked.

Shit. He didn't even know his name. What was he thinking? But he came all this way, and he wasn't giving up.

"The boy that was brought here a few minutes ago?"

She looked at him. "You don't know his name?" she questioned.

He wanted to slap her, but he knew he had to stay calm, or he would get into more trouble.

"Well, I was worried about him." Why was he worried about some random kid? "I was the one that called the ambulance, you know."

The lady looked him up and down and Connor thought he would have to resort to violence.

"He's not in shape for visitors." she replied. "Please wait in the waiting room."

Connor walked off where she pointed, but she stopped him again.

"Your name?"

"Connor Murphy."

She nodded and scribbled a note. He sat in a chair and waited.

A long time later, a doctor walked out of the office. "Connor?" he asked.

Connor jumped up, almost falling over because his legs had fallen asleep. "How is he?" he questioned.

The doctor didn't say anything, simply handing him a folded piece of paper.

Connor shit him a questioning look, but didn't say anything. He opened the paper and read what was inside.

 

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today's not a good day and here's why. My life is a mess. My mom hates me, Jared hates me, and so does probably everyone else in the world. Yesterday was a terrible day, even more than usual. All my hope was pinned on Zoe Murphy, but all that hope is gone. I can't do this anymore. I'm ending it all._

_Sincerely,_

_Me_

 

Connor hadn't realized that he sat down or that he was shaking.

He looked up at the doctor, who had stayed in the room, waiting for Connor's response.

"How is he?" Connor asked, after he had overcome the shock.

The doctor looked sad. "He was brought in too late. I'm sorry. He's gone."

 

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

 

Connor opened the door to his house. It was too late, and no one was awake. He walked into his room and softly closed the door. He sat on his bed and stared at the wall.

Evan Hansen. That was the kid's name. Evan. He had shoved Evan in the hallway. He was probably having a terrible day that day and he had made it worse. Evan had felt alone in the world. Evan didn't fall from that tree, he let go.

Connor knew how that felt. He wanted to end it all too. Then why was he alive, and why was Evan dead? He considered ending it all, in his room where someone will find him in the morning. 

He tried to stand up, to go to the medicine cabinet, but his knees buckled underneath him and he fell on his bed. He couldn't get back up, so he stayed there, staring up at the ceiling until he fell asleep.

When he woke up, it was early, before the sun rose. With his newfound energy, he walked downstairs. He considered a moment before grabbing his backpack and driving to school.

He didn't know what he was doing. Why was he going to school? If he ended it all, he wouldn't have to endure the hell of going to school anymore. He wouldn't have to endure the pain of being called a monster, of calling himself a monster. He wouldn't have to endure the arguments with Larry, with both Zoe and Cynthia too afraid to do anything.

But something in him had clicked when he read Evan's note. If he killed himself now, that would be offensive to Evan. He had to keep living for his sake and Evan's. He wondered why Evan had become such an important thing in his life all of the sudden.

He knew that he had to endure life, no matter what kind of shit he went through.

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote this, I told my friend that no one was going to die. She read it and then she said she hated me (but not really because she's my friend).
> 
> I'll keep posting content on here, but kudos and comments are appreciated. (They give me motivation to write more).


End file.
